Supporting loved ones with alcohol use disorder

Overcoming an addiction is incredibly challenging on one’s own. To alter negative behavior – and enact lasting, positive change – a strong support system is essential. At the core of that support system? Often, it’s family and loved ones.

Many of the families we work with enter treatment with high levels of anxiety and depression – and we even see some people experiencing symptoms of trauma.

They are often afraid that their loved one might overdose – or injure themselves or someone else by driving under the influence. They worry that they might have legal challenges, arrests, or other significant negative effects.

If someone you love is struggling with alcohol use, know that treatment is available and effective – and that your support can help with successful recovery. Family therapy can provide a better understanding of this impact and how to move forward from its reverberations.

Here’s what to know about how your loved one’s alcohol use impacts you and your family.  You can help your loved one heal while simultaneously caring for your wellbeing.

1. Seek support: Don’t let shame, stigma, or lack of knowledge prevent you from seeking treatment

Family members often don’t know where to turn. They often feel that they can’t reach out to family and friends because of the shame associated with alcohol misuse. As a result, they feel isolated and hopeless.

Know that you are far from alone! It is estimated that more than 20 million Americans have an alcohol or other substance use disorder. Given this number, your loved one – and you, by extension – are hardly alone in this struggle.

In addition to seeking individual therapy, joining a support group can help you connect with others who are managing similar stressors, and reduce possible feelings of isolation that might overwhelm you.

2. Learn about available treatments. Treatment is available – and effective

Many families aren’t aware that treatment is very effective. There are proven psychotherapies and medications that can help patients slow down and stop their substance use and move into recovery and family members can play a supportive role in their care.

There are several different treatment approaches for recovery. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), motivational interviewing, and mindfulness practices are all proven to work.

One of the most important messages that we share with families is one of hope and optimism. We want them to know that the research shows that treatment for substance use disorders is just as effective as treatment for other chronic medical disorders like diabetes and hypertension.

3. For family members in denial or rejecting treatment, try “CRAFT”

For family members who want to help a loved one who is refusing treatment, we use a therapy called Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT). This treatment approach was designed specifically for people who are concerned about a loved one who is drinking or using.

CRAFT has two main goals: To support the family members and to help them guide their loved one into treatment. It has been found to reduce conflict in the family, and it leads to a healthier and more sustainable life for people who are caring for someone struggling with addiction.

This approach utilizes non-confrontational behavioral principles to motivate the person to enter treatment. Using these methods, families can learn to change their interactions with their loved ones. This results in changes in their loved one’s behavior. CRAFT provides families with hopeful, positive, and effective alternatives to addressing alcohol and substance problems in their families.

4. To help your loved one through the recovery process, try positive reinforcement

If you notice that they did something without using alcohol or drugs, “catch them” being good and praise them.

For instance, if your wife went to your child’s soccer game without drinking, tell her how happy you were that she went to the game without drinking.

If your husband comes directly home from work without going to a bar and having a few drinks, tell him how great it was that he came straight home! Tell him how much you like spending time with him when he hasn’t been drinking. You can even make him a nice dinner to really reinforce his coming home.

People repeat behaviors that are reinforced. Praise them for the things they did right. This increases the chances they will repeat the positive non-drug-using behavior.

5. Not sure your loved one has an alcohol problem?

Seek professional consultation to help you decide the appropriate course of action. Don’t wait to come in to talk! Many people wait until a crisis emerges, but we encourage you to seek help before things get out of control.

Talking with a therapist can help you determine the best course of action. If your loved one needs treatment, get help for yourself to navigate the stress of helping your loved one recover.

Finding effective treatment can increase optimism that with the right professional help, your loved one can make positive, lasting changes.